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What's Left Undone
3 min read
Things fall apart real quick.
First off:
- you are all amazing people and have my deepest thanks. You carried on where I failed. I couldn't have asked for a better lot.
But that ain't enough to fix what's left undone.
I've not been depressed or sad or angry or lonely. If anything, I've been doing pretty well for someone weathering college.
I've just been- what's the word- distant? Afraid to take the first step to a return?
Yeah, that's the word.
In hindsight, I oughta' have seen this coming. I become frightened of my own failures right quick, and it's all too easy to get stuck in one of those vicious cycles. I had a few chances to break out, but I didn't take 'em.
I've been on and off of Skype, checking in every few days but not having the willpower to make some noise. Then I hopped on today to see that those three fellows up there- Cloudbat, Aspen, and Corvus- had finished judging for the final round of Tourist Trap.
I'm proud of them.
Now I want to be proud of myself again.
It's been a while since I've done any proper writing. I've not been keeping up with the NaNos and my characters have gone dead silent. The real shame is how I kept saying I'd put an end to it. Every time I did, it didn't last long. Guess I never really made a big enough deal of it to make it stick.
Well, this's one way to do it, I suppose. No turning back.
I'm going to try and dust off a story or two. I don't think I'll be returning to OCTs any time soon- bad memories soured with time aren't going to turn sweet.
Can't just leave 'em either, though. It's a real quandary.
This is where most people would say they ain't looking for sympathy, but even that's become a cliché of those who're fishing for compliments. So I suppose I'll just ride the waves and fight the ocean- face the music and then make things better.
Beats doing nothing.
First off:
- you are all amazing people and have my deepest thanks. You carried on where I failed. I couldn't have asked for a better lot.But that ain't enough to fix what's left undone.
I've not been depressed or sad or angry or lonely. If anything, I've been doing pretty well for someone weathering college.
I've just been- what's the word- distant? Afraid to take the first step to a return?
Yeah, that's the word.
In hindsight, I oughta' have seen this coming. I become frightened of my own failures right quick, and it's all too easy to get stuck in one of those vicious cycles. I had a few chances to break out, but I didn't take 'em.
I've been on and off of Skype, checking in every few days but not having the willpower to make some noise. Then I hopped on today to see that those three fellows up there- Cloudbat, Aspen, and Corvus- had finished judging for the final round of Tourist Trap.
I'm proud of them.
Now I want to be proud of myself again.
It's been a while since I've done any proper writing. I've not been keeping up with the NaNos and my characters have gone dead silent. The real shame is how I kept saying I'd put an end to it. Every time I did, it didn't last long. Guess I never really made a big enough deal of it to make it stick.
Well, this's one way to do it, I suppose. No turning back.
I'm going to try and dust off a story or two. I don't think I'll be returning to OCTs any time soon- bad memories soured with time aren't going to turn sweet.
Can't just leave 'em either, though. It's a real quandary.
This is where most people would say they ain't looking for sympathy, but even that's become a cliché of those who're fishing for compliments. So I suppose I'll just ride the waves and fight the ocean- face the music and then make things better.
Beats doing nothing.
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Some Things That Need Explaining
2 min read
It sure has been quiet.
First of all, I'd like to apologize to my opponent in Sacred Forest for going completely silent about the entire OCT. The same goes for those in Tourist Trap.
See, I've barely been online and haven't communicated much at all. There're two reasons for this.
One, I've just begun my studies as a chemist at the Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, which immediately smacked me into the ground (18 hour schedules are cruel). My free time has been limited to a few hours a day at best.
That's not the real issue, though. My motivation's shriveled up and died. I can't write.
I've got things circling around in my head, but they're stuck. It's hamstringing me every time I try to write for Sacred Forest, work with the judges for Tourist Trap, or even show up on Skype. As a consequence, I've been reluctant to even appear online. That's done nothing but further damage my spirit.
I'd very much like to change that.
Although I'm not going to promise the impossible, I will be doing my best to get my first round of Sacred Forest up in the next two weeks. Once that's done with, I'll be trying to catch up on what I've missed. My inbox is a disaster and there're comments/notes that have just been sitting there for weeks.
I'm not sure how to explain these feelings, but with some luck, I'll be able to banish them for good.
Until next time,
-Someguy
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Ready Up
1 min read
It's been quiet for a while, hasn't it?
Might as well make some noise.
Spawned from the tedium of a winter snowstorm, this beast-only OCT has been two months in the making. Our duo of judges- CorvusRaven, and Cloudbat, as well as ReverendAspen, our assistant, have been collaborating to smooth out the rough bits and get this thing in gear.
Auditions are open until June 15th. We're quite eager to get underway, so feel free to direct any questions you have to us.
Just don't get lost on your way.
The lonely road leads to oblivion.
Might as well make some noise.
Spawned from the tedium of a winter snowstorm, this beast-only OCT has been two months in the making. Our duo of judges- CorvusRaven, and Cloudbat, as well as ReverendAspen, our assistant, have been collaborating to smooth out the rough bits and get this thing in gear.
Auditions are open until June 15th. We're quite eager to get underway, so feel free to direct any questions you have to us.
Just don't get lost on your way.
The lonely road leads to oblivion.
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Veni, vidi, uh...er...
2 min read
VICI!
After thirty days of confusion, suffering, pain, and sickness (as well as plenty of good things too), I fought my way from zero words to 50,000 to complete NaNoWriMo for 2012.
The last day was a massive 7,600 word push that lasted throughout my school day and from 6:00 PM to 10:50 PM. It was the culmination of a frenzied effort to catch up after an illness and other circumstances took me out of stride for roughly a week near the beginning of the month. Apathy set in after that, taking another week to dispel.
None of that matters now, 'cause I've managed to make it.
My story this year was a rehash of older plots and included a man, another man, a large city, a sniper with improbable aiming skills, a bunch of angry monstrous creatures, several traitors, explosions, gratuitous violence, helicopters, the destruction of several city blocks, lasers, gang violence, false fronts, violent thunderstorms, vague settings, poor government oversight, broken windows, a schoolteacher, a school, massive collateral damage, turnabouts, an emo ending, more gratuitous violence, character development (?), more than fifteen characters, red shirts that wouldn't die, main characters who got hurt and were replaced, gratuitous violence out your ears, and a fantastic television reporter.
I need to write a synopsis sooner or later.
For now, though, I'm just distancing myself from the story for a bit. I have big plans for the near future, and they may have to take precedence. Besides, I still need to edit Do Harm...
cuss
After thirty days of confusion, suffering, pain, and sickness (as well as plenty of good things too), I fought my way from zero words to 50,000 to complete NaNoWriMo for 2012.
The last day was a massive 7,600 word push that lasted throughout my school day and from 6:00 PM to 10:50 PM. It was the culmination of a frenzied effort to catch up after an illness and other circumstances took me out of stride for roughly a week near the beginning of the month. Apathy set in after that, taking another week to dispel.
None of that matters now, 'cause I've managed to make it.
My story this year was a rehash of older plots and included a man, another man, a large city, a sniper with improbable aiming skills, a bunch of angry monstrous creatures, several traitors, explosions, gratuitous violence, helicopters, the destruction of several city blocks, lasers, gang violence, false fronts, violent thunderstorms, vague settings, poor government oversight, broken windows, a schoolteacher, a school, massive collateral damage, turnabouts, an emo ending, more gratuitous violence, character development (?), more than fifteen characters, red shirts that wouldn't die, main characters who got hurt and were replaced, gratuitous violence out your ears, and a fantastic television reporter.
I need to write a synopsis sooner or later.
For now, though, I'm just distancing myself from the story for a bit. I have big plans for the near future, and they may have to take precedence. Besides, I still need to edit Do Harm...
cuss
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Overdue Observations
3 min read
I've been trying to write this journal time after time. As soon as I get halfway done, I get distracted and close it out.
ANYWAYS
Some major things have gone on! First of all, OCTs:
After three rounds, I've won with Vulcan against Sand-Crystal's Ga'Har and rexyplexy's Star Shine. It was nice to see everyone come together in the end to get their entries in, even when it looked like all would be for naught due to some hectic schedules and whatnot. Good fun.
I've lost in round four to CorvusRaven's Untoten. She's working on her fifth round, and it's looking to be very promising. I've learned a thing or two from this OCT- making characters drive the plot instead of the scenery, particularly. Ha! I'm putting that to full use in...
I'm in round one against Larkpaw's Haydn and Cozzolani (champion of Tapestry-of-Horror, no less). After several weeks of planning and thinking, I'm getting rolling and am currently on my fourth page (2200 words so far). There's so much I want to do and so little time to do it all in. This's gonna be a doozy.
ARTISTIC FUNTIMES NEWS
I got Paint Tool SAI and have begun to learn how to use the thing. If all goes well, I could start posting art sooner or later. As for music, I've been on a standstill due to school and stuff. I might have some new stuff up in a week or so.
RANDOM BLURB
I have four hats
IS THIS JOURNAL OVER?
No.
NaNoWriMo is coming up in a month. I'm trying to get a coherent plot together ahead of time instead of just making it up at 1 AM on the first night (lol August). Anyone else doing it? I'd be interested to hear what you have in mind.
IS IT OVER NOW?
Yes.
ANYWAYS
Some major things have gone on! First of all, OCTs:
After three rounds, I've won with Vulcan against Sand-Crystal's Ga'Har and rexyplexy's Star Shine. It was nice to see everyone come together in the end to get their entries in, even when it looked like all would be for naught due to some hectic schedules and whatnot. Good fun.
I've lost in round four to CorvusRaven's Untoten. She's working on her fifth round, and it's looking to be very promising. I've learned a thing or two from this OCT- making characters drive the plot instead of the scenery, particularly. Ha! I'm putting that to full use in...
I'm in round one against Larkpaw's Haydn and Cozzolani (champion of Tapestry-of-Horror, no less). After several weeks of planning and thinking, I'm getting rolling and am currently on my fourth page (2200 words so far). There's so much I want to do and so little time to do it all in. This's gonna be a doozy.
ARTISTIC FUNTIMES NEWS
I got Paint Tool SAI and have begun to learn how to use the thing. If all goes well, I could start posting art sooner or later. As for music, I've been on a standstill due to school and stuff. I might have some new stuff up in a week or so.
RANDOM BLURB
I have four hats
IS THIS JOURNAL OVER?
No.
NaNoWriMo is coming up in a month. I'm trying to get a coherent plot together ahead of time instead of just making it up at 1 AM on the first night (lol August). Anyone else doing it? I'd be interested to hear what you have in mind.
IS IT OVER NOW?
Yes.
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